


Your Fave is Problematic

by allythecatx, crackpairingprincess



Category: Free!
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Crack, I'm not even sure what happened, Kinda, M/M, Memes, One Shot, Rimming, butt stuff, so many memes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-15
Updated: 2015-05-15
Packaged: 2018-03-30 15:53:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3942640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allythecatx/pseuds/allythecatx, https://archiveofourown.org/users/crackpairingprincess/pseuds/crackpairingprincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where Haru uses Tumblr too much and Rin is 1000000% done with his shit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your Fave is Problematic

“Much length. Very Hard.”   
“Don’t.”  
“U mad bro?”  
“Haru, stop.”   
“I came out to have a good time, and I am honestly feeling so attacked right now.”  
“Haru, I swear to God if you don’t shut your motherfucking memer mouth I’m going to shove my dick so far down your throat your vocal cords will combust.” Haru was quiet for a moment, looking Rin in the eyes. He slowly reached out to brush his hands along Rin’s chest.  
“Rin…” He dipped down to meet Rin’s lips in a brief kiss, “I crave that mineral.”  
“GODDAMMIT HARU.”  
Rin pushed Haru down onto his bed and climbed on top of him. He moved up Haru’s body until his crotch was lined up with Haru’s mouth. Rin went to unzip his jeans but the zipper was stuck.  
“That awkward moment when…”   
“FUCK HARU THIS ISN’T FUNNY MY ZIPPER IS REALLY STUCK”  
Rin was trying so hard to yank his zipper open, until finally he managed to get it down. He pulled out his semi hard dick and gave it a few quick strokes.  
“Hoe don’t do it…. oh my g-”   
Haru never managed to get out the rest of his meme because rin stuck his whole dick into Haru’s cute little meme-loving mouth. He started a brutal pace, not wanting to give Haru another chance to ruin the mood. Haru complied and tilted his head back, opening his throat for Rin’s cock. His tongue twisted around his boyfriend’s length, sucking and lapping at the head. Rin groaned, pulling out. The redhead panted as he tried not to cum so soon.  
“T...too hot.” Haru didn’t even miss a beat.  
“Hot damn.”  
“Haru I swear to fuck-”  
“Call the police and the firemen”  
“That’s it, I’m so done with you right now. Continue this and my dick’s going into your ass, hard.”  
“Rin, can you not even right now?”  
“.... Fucking hell.”  
Rin shimmied back down Haru’s body and hovered over him, their dicks lining up. He promptly flipped Haru over onto his stomach and perched his ass into the air.  
Haru oomphed as he landed on his stomach and groaned as Rin attacked his hole with his tongue.  
“Haru you taste so fucking good” Rin said, his voice muffled because of the fact his face was shoved into Haru’s ass.  
“Mmmm whatcha sayyy?” Rin didn’t bother responding this time, opting instead to promptly shove Haru’s face into the pillows. Rin pushed the tip a finger into Haru’s hole, earning a low whine from the other male. He would have smirked, had his mouth not been so busy. He continued, working the finger in to the knuckle, Haru keening into the sheets.   
“R-Rin..” Haru moaned, “G-Get-” Rin pulled his mouth away from Haru’s ass, still moving his finger in and out. He leaned up to nip at Haru’s ear,  
“What is it, Haru?”   
“Get...get in loser, we’re going shopping.”  
“Jesus Christ.” Rin growled, sticking another finger into Haru’s hole alongside the first one.  
Haru let out a very embarrassing high pitched sound and gripped the bedsheets tight.  
Rin kept moving his fingers in and out, panting slightly because Haru looked so damn good all flushed and gripping the sheets. Hopefully he’s gotten all the memes out of his system.  
Haru then started making some noises, almost like he was humming.  
“H-Haru…????”  
Rin leaned in closer to Haru, his fingers still sliding in and out of Haru’s hole.  
Haru’s humming grew louder and Rin realized what song he’d been brokenly humming and gasping.  
“Oh my FUCK Haru, are you humming that goddamn Rick Astley song?”  
Grimacing from the pressure of Rin’s fingers moving faster, Haru breathed out,  
“Rick rolled…”  
Rin pulled back, his face lacking emotion. He quickly rolled a condom onto his dick and without much warning, rammed it into Haru’s slightly worked entrance.   
Settling for a hard, fast pace, Rin knew he wasn’t going to last long, not at all.  
Soon (much too soon) his breathing became erratic and his rhythm unsteady. Rin could feel the pressure building up, and he yelped as a scorching heat blazed through his body and his vision went dark.  
He collapsed on top of Haru, breathing hard.  
“Rin get off me, you’re too heavy I just literally can’t even right now…”  
Rin let out an exasperated groan and rolled to the other side of Haru.  
He noticed that Haru was slightly bleeding from his ass.  
“Shit Haru, I’m sorry. I think I made you bleed. I should’ve grabbed the lube…”  
“Tis’ but a flesh wound”  
“SWEET MOTHER OF FUCK HARU… w-wait did you even cum?”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I’m serious, that’s what happened!” Rin threw his hands in the air, his cheeks flushed red from his frustration. Sousuke just continued laughing. Sometimes he was a terrible best friend.  
“No way, man. Just no way.” Like right now. Rin gave him a flat look, and Sousuke’s laughter died into an awkward chuckle, “You’re serious, aren't you?”   
Rin smirked.  
“True story.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Author's Note:**

> We're not exactly sure how this happened. Sorry we can't write or finish anything that isn't crack porn.


End file.
